★Starstruck★

Date: Thursday, August 13, 2009
Posted at: 12:01 PM

Wah! Perangai baik pe. Kau nya STARHUB BILL, kau takder penah sebut pun bila kau bebual ngan aku. Tapi, bila kau nak kau nya FOSSIL WATCH balik, kau mati-mati nak balik by tonight. Sal? Nak gi date ehk besok? Oohh..so tak nak pakai watch cheap cheap good good ah? Nak pakai semua branded stuffs isit, Mr 'J'?

Sundalz. Haha.

Cakap pasal STARHUB BILL, it's SETTLED. I've practically borrowed money from my friend just to pay his 1st installment last month. And, his elder sister just paid $500 at one go last 3 days. This problem is discussed between his mum and me. We don't want the person using this line to get involve cause definitely, it will lead to another problem. As for now, left with the penalty fee, $300. I will used his line for a month or so, and afterwhich, once I've receive my 1st pay from ICA, I will cut off the line! All this while, he never ever open up his mouth talking about this issue. Wah wah, enjoy life pe bang? Goyang kaki nampak. Aku pun tak tau kau dah kerja belum. Kau boleh cakap dengan semuaaaaa oraaang kau dah kerja tapi dengan aku, please eh. All this while, I know whether you are telling me the truth. Well, after being with you 4 1/2years, it seems likely that not all you've been telling me the truth. Apa orang cakap, banyak bebual, banyak bohong eh? Orang macam aku dengan kawan-kawan kau yang dah kenal kau lama giler jek tau perangai SEBENAR kau. Zess. Please throw away your BOASTFUL attitude before starting dating with any other girls ok?

And 1 more thing, ada ke dia cakap ngan kawan aku, aku break ngan dia pasal lelaki lain?! Like, what the fuck sia!!! I get to know from a friend of mine. Let me tell you people what actually happened between us. It's up to you girls to believe or not. It's better to hear from both side instead of one side right? I know. I know.

The ACTUAL REASON why I BROKE UP with him was NOT because of another GUY. There was NO 3rd PARTY between us. Actually, it was a sudden break. He asked for a time-off cause of his family problem. Perhaps of the shocked news, that I myself was having doubts about my relationship. Not only that, there were no trust between us for the past few months or years..Other than that, I seriously can't remember. Whatever it is, it's not because of a 3rd PARTY. I guess, he's been telling people that we broke off cause of me having another affair. !!!!! Sucks.

I always mentioned about this guy by the name of Mr S. His name is Muhammad Safuan. I've been dating with him eversince I broke up with my ex. Between January to May, he was involved in the conflicts between my ex and me. There were so many conflicts till one point of time, it involved his parents and mine. It was such a big huu haa! I don't believe in patching up, do you girls? That's the reason why I don't wana get back to him. Yes, at times, I may just remember the past memories that I had with him. I can't deny that after a few weeks or maybe a few months, I still have the feeling towards him. I still do miss him. But what makes me can't stand him is how he treated me that point of time. I know that he still loves me..BUT, we are just not fated to be with each other. He can't force me to be with him again. He tried 101 ways to get me back throughout that period. If I were to continue typing, there's too many things I wana share. But I think, I shall stop here. For those who knew what actually happened between him and me, good enough.

Till 1 point of time that the situation cannot be handled, Safuan and me decided to say that we are actually 'ATTACHED' to make him stop all his actions. But in actual fact, we are not. So yah, that's how we ended the conflict between us. Till today, he have not been bothering me with all those emotional actings..bla..bla..bla.. HOWEVER, he can't just run away from me like that. His STARHUB BILL makes me go after him. He must be responsible guy. But looking at the situation, it's seem he's not. Like I've mentioned earlier, he doesn't seem to bother about his bill. F c u k. =_=

Enough about Mr 'J'. Talking about him makes me go maaaaad! Pfft!

This few days, I sense something different in myself. I'm somehow ready to take the next step with Mr S. But, I don't wana rush to be in a relationship with him. My past relationships taught me a lesson. Get to know that guy longer. Inside out. I don't want when I'm with him, I get to see his true true true colors besides what he is now. I don't wana hear stories from outsiders saying that he's like this..he's like that. I don't want history to repeat again. Let me really know him well enough. And 1 more thing. I have to change my BAD ATTITUDE first. I need to say to myself that, "He's the one for me and not other guys". I must make sure that I will not have another affair or flings or whatever it is called. It's about time for me to find my Mr Right Guy. Insya-allah, if he's my Mr Right Guy, then he is. :)

Another thing why I don't want to be in a relationship yet is because, after 4 1/2 years, finally, I'm free from the cage! I smell FREEDOM. Hehe. That's also partly the reason. I'm just too tooo tooo tired to have another one after years of having one. Please give me some space to breathe!

Errr...I've actually make a promise to myself that I wana be single for a year. But it seems that, it might not happened. Hurhurhur. Whatever it is, I will try not to break my promise. Maybe. :D

Tomorrow is Mr S's 23rd Birthday. I don't have the opportunity to go out with him on his birthday cause he's having some event with his campmates. And, I was suppose to go out with him on Saturday from morning till night, but then.. there's always something that stop us from whatever we wana do. I always realised that. I don't know lah. Each time nak kluar, ada jek halangan. Is that a hint to something? I sense it is. And eversince I've been supeer close to him, I'm a bit sensitive even on the smallest thing. Why ah? Why Liana?! Why?! Entah lah. HAiz.

This entry have been typed out since 3.00plus in the afternoon, but since there were too many disruption, I can only post it now at 10.53pm. Haha. :D

Good night people!
:)